My own Packaging of God

I am so amazing at how many times, even though my heart loves it when God has total free reign of my life, there are times when I stop seeing things through the spiritual, begin seeing through the physical and then get scared.

In being scared, I again try to "grab God" by using whatever method some other man has tried to hand me, and I use that to try to again establish God myself. However, I forget that God will not allow me to establish Him as I see Him, but He must simply be Himself within my life. Not my idea of Him, not what one part of any scripture says about Him, but the complete being that He actually is. Without this, the God that I am trying to errect is not really a real God, or my Father at all, it is a graven image that I myself have created and desire to make seem like the real God.

God is a free being. He is not controlled by anyone or anything. He is not controlled by the prayers of myself or anyone else, because as soon as that happens, then I am King and He is my servant. In order to love God, I must put down myself or the person that I often think that I am, and simply embrace Him for who He is without adding my own perspectives on Him. Since many of my perspectives are based on the physical (flesh) world, and not where He dwells, in the spirit.

In order to be free, I must first free myself from thinking that in order to know God, I must have a hold of Him. I must see my own perspectives for what they are, small, useless and futile. When I become nothing, and he becomes everything, and He chooses to show me what He sees, where He dwells, then I am becoming more free, mostly from my own false self that this world has created for me. It is then that God will invite me deeper into His heart, when I am not bringing my definitions of who He is with me, but am an empty slate and He can share Himself with me in a raw and new way, reviving my deep heart, and touching my deep soul in a way that I never knew He would.