tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-109827092011-04-21T17:19:11.453-06:00Is there a life that is real? Is there more than one road in life? Is there a real life so real, that I would die for it? These are simply our journals and thoughts as we follow God to where we do not know, knowing that only at the end of our time here will we fully understand.Ryannoreply@blogger.comBlogger941100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1121462904859753512005-07-15T15:27:00.000-06:002005-07-15T15:28:24.866-06:00

People permit and pay others to think for them, maybe because of the emptiness they try to fill within themselves. "Thinking" and "asking questions" takes time, effort, tears and humility. So they choose for themselves the "most outspoken teacher" who exerts the most pride and listen to him because it will give them a false pride and "knowing" without ever thinking or questioning themselves. They

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1121101169538911212005-07-11T10:59:00.000-06:002005-07-11T11:05:22.030-06:00

The effort to “not offend” has created an immature culture where mankind never grows up from their misperceptions. It (mankind/society) actually has become run by the immature and those who do not in fact see, which creates the most dangerous place, where nothing is real because it has made most of man into a continued state of lostness, with the deception of arrival at the truth. One cannot

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1118278906619739832005-06-08T19:01:00.000-06:002005-06-08T19:01:46.626-06:00

What am I fighting for?

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1117807187959986892005-06-03T07:59:00.000-06:002005-06-03T07:59:47.966-06:00

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/issue14/God%20is%20interested%20in%20truth.mp3God is interested in truth. A statement by Bono about Rock n Roll music.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1117723979166607942005-06-02T08:52:00.000-06:002005-06-02T08:52:59.170-06:00

What is my focus? Do I focus on my enemy more than my Master? Is the fact that I hate what modern Christians have made "Christianity" and "Christ" into so much that that is what I focus on the most?If we know what we stand for with the intimate knowledge that we are invited to know, then we do not have to state what we "do not believe" or "what we oppose," because our very lives will simply

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1117637592875200172005-06-01T08:53:00.000-06:002005-06-01T08:53:12.880-06:00

In the temptation of Christ, the first one, the temptation is not just to fulfill His physical desire for food, if he even had one at the time. Honestly, I do not know whether He did or whether it was being taken care of by His Father. However, the temptation was to simply take His life into His own hands. Almost every temptation recorded had this similar thing attached to it. Jesus did not do

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1115304122761458472005-05-05T08:41:00.000-06:002005-05-05T08:42:02.783-06:00

I took my car in to get it repaired today, and got a ride home from the owner of the shop. On the trip, we exchanged some of the typical conversation, and I explained what my heart was for life and for the people of Boulder. As he got me back to my place he told me a quote that he had heard from a Black speaker back in the 70's. "If you have something good, you do not have to force it on anyone,

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1115267685831354362005-05-04T22:34:00.000-06:002005-05-04T22:34:45.836-06:00

For it is not until He sets us free, that we come to know the deep parts of Him, because He is the freest being that exists, and we cannot experience Him fully until He takes us past the confines of rules and activities.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1114530500486150772005-04-26T09:47:00.000-06:002005-04-26T09:48:20.486-06:00

He broke my life into pieces, and held me the whole time. He put to death my false self, and let me cry on his shoulder. He crushed all that I thought were my dreams, and gave me new life.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1113925485403370172005-04-19T09:44:00.000-06:002005-04-19T09:44:45.406-06:00

Where men live huddled together without true communication, there seems to be greater sharing, and a more genuine communion. But this is not communion, only immersion in the general meaninglessness of countless slogans and clichés repeated over and over again so that in the end one listens without hearing and responds without thinking. The constant din of empty words and machine noises, the

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1113803702465465402005-04-17T23:53:00.000-06:002005-04-17T23:55:02.466-06:00

The only way to deal with an unfree world, is to become so absolutely free that your very act of existence becomes an act of rebellion.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1113591532324023952005-04-15T12:54:00.000-06:002005-04-17T15:06:50.566-06:00

If we feel that we are actually in the presence of God, yet every time we feel we are there, we are full of our own words, have we really even experienced a piece of the depth of God? If we were truly in the deep places of th eFather, would a verbal word even be necessary? (I always answer the questions quickly when I kno the truth being revealed, and feel as if I do not measure up, especially

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1113500886120229312005-04-14T11:47:00.000-06:002005-04-14T11:48:06.123-06:00

The dream of people being free from the confines of religious activity. Free from the obligations they feel, and the time they spend and waste doing things that are not necessary in the relationship they long for with their one and only Father. As our hearts are renewed our Father will form these groups by joining our souls with other people. They will be like tribes, only they will be closer

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1113326891027734862005-04-12T11:27:00.000-06:002005-04-12T11:28:11.030-06:00

Amund, a friend from Scotland visited us yesterday and stayed the night with us last night. It was an interesting visit, to say the least, because there was a connection between both of us the whole time. Not to mention that he is from Scotland, and emailed me one day wanting to meet me and enjoy some fellowship over a meal. He had read some of the posts I had written and desired to meet me

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1112724053133867142005-04-04T12:57:00.000-06:002005-04-05T12:00:53.136-06:00

Amanda and I went to a doctor appointment for her, and then we went to one of our favorite spots in downtown Boulder to sit and listen to the water roll by over the rocks of South Boulder Creek.While we were sitting there, there was a group of "mentally disabled" people who walked by with the people who volunteer with them. As Amanda and I started talking about how we [Western Societies]

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1112115631126205952005-03-29T09:49:00.000-07:002005-04-04T10:20:40.033-06:00

What has we lost in our desire for more power, a better ability to communicate and sell business over massive communication lines? We like to think that our lives do not have costs and we can have everything that we want without there really being a trade off of anything else. But is that actually true? In 1436 when the Printing Press was invented, as the article linked above said, we did "

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1111613132591418552005-03-23T14:09:00.000-07:002005-03-23T14:48:22.253-07:00

You know, I have used these blogs to "prove" that I know what I am talking about at times. Using deep words, sometimes because that is the deep Ryan and the best way to express myself, but other times because I was feeling empty in striving myself and wanted to feel worth something. You know where everything really lies. It lies in life. What you actually believe, you do not have to tell anyone,

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1111092256633143422005-03-17T13:43:00.000-07:002005-03-17T13:44:16.636-07:00

The emptiness a man feels when he believes he has grasped his salvation through his own studies, thoughts, prayers and deeds, is the proof within himself that we cannot hold onto God. For I have known this emptiness far too well, and am glad that man is now dead.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1111006638738061062005-03-16T13:57:00.000-07:002005-03-16T13:57:18.736-07:00

"...the way is narrow that leads to life, and few find it." JesusTwo roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.- Robert Frost

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1110813242433632542005-03-14T08:03:00.000-07:002005-03-14T22:53:05.386-07:00

I am so amazing at how many times, even though my heart loves it when God has total free reign of my life, there are times when I stop seeing things through the spiritual, begin seeing through the physical and then get scared. In being scared, I again try to "grab God" by using whatever method some other man has tried to hand me, and I use that to try to again establish God myself. However, I

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109804328969136112005-03-02T15:54:00.000-07:002005-03-02T16:01:59.246-07:00

Quote by Thomas Merton, "Seeds," pg. 125He is closer to us than we are to ourselves, although we do not see him. Whoever seeks to catch Him and hold Him loses Him. He is like the wind that blows where it pleases. You who love Him must love Him as arriving from where you do not know and as going where you do not know. Your spirit must seek to be as clean and free as His own Spirit, in order to

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109803757330448042005-03-02T15:38:00.000-07:002005-03-02T16:27:07.210-07:00

Quote from Thomas Merton, "Seeds" pg. 122-123Cartesian thought began with an attempt to reach God as an object by starting from the thinking self*. But when God becomes object, he sooner or later "dies," because God as object is ultimately unthinkable. God as object is not only a mere abstract concept, but one which contains so many internal contradictions that it becomes entirely nonnegotiable

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109778230729143212005-03-02T08:24:00.000-07:002005-03-02T15:06:27.203-07:00

Therefore the Jews were grumbling about Him, because He said, 'I am the bread that came down from heaven.' They were saying, 'Is not Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? How does He now say, 'I have come down out of heaven'? Jesus answered and said to them, 'Do not grumble among yourselves. No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws Him; and I will raise Him

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109777046549722182005-03-01T07:16:00.000-07:002005-03-02T08:24:06.553-07:00

The sheep are Jesus sheep. John 10:14, 16; I am the good shepherd, and I know my own and my own know me ... I have other sheep, which are not of this fold; I must bring them also, and they will hear my voice; and they will become one flock with one shepherd. One must first grasp that the sheep who are sheep, are God's and not any man's. John 10:27-30; My sheep hear my voice, and I know them,

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109776240294422802005-03-01T07:02:00.000-07:002005-03-02T08:13:25.783-07:00

It seems that I have often thought that when it says in Genesis 3:36;"To the woman He said,I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth,in pain you will bring forth children;Yet your desire wil be fore your husband,and He will rule over You."The first part was indeed a "punishment" for her actions but the second part was not so much a dealt out punishment but simply part of her separation from

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109445675950085192005-02-26T11:57:00.000-07:002005-02-26T12:31:18.723-07:00

"No Man Is An Island" - Thomas Merton p. 3-4A happiness sought for ourselves alone can never be found: for a happiness that is dimished by being shared is not big enough to make us happy.There is a false and momentary happiness in self-satisfaction, but it always leads to sorrow because it narrows and deadens our spirit. True happiness is found in unselfish love, a love which increases in

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109346322360474802005-02-25T08:33:00.000-07:002005-03-02T16:35:28.273-07:00

From: "No Man Is an Island" Prologue XV-XVIIWhat every man looks for in life is his own salvation and the salvation of the men he lives with. By salvation I mean first of all the full discovery of who he himself really is. Then I mean something of the fulfillment of his own God-given powers, in the love of others and of God. I mean also the discovery that he cannot find himself in himself alone,

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109348228259197902005-02-25T08:15:00.000-07:002005-02-25T09:17:08.263-07:00

I was reading through Thomas Merton's thoughts on this today and was honestly amazed at the truth of what he said. It was when I stopped trying to use people to define me, and let go of my own needs to be "recognized" that God brought me into myself and showed me who I was by using other people (my beloved was a main one). I personally think of his defintion of "salvation" as real Life.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109264229907962902005-02-24T09:56:00.000-07:002005-02-24T09:58:18.373-07:00

Men are so easily distracted from the reality of where life flows from. We are so quickly diverted from the real source of life, to some method that we are convinced will give us life. There is no method, there is only God Himself as our source of life. Many will be quick to say, “Amen” to this statement, but it is those who are quick to be wary of. Men like them do not think before they speak.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1111427222327033212005-02-07T09:53:00.000-07:002005-03-21T10:47:02.343-07:00

I reread a writing of mine about "Taming the Wild" this morning. In many ways I am struggling again with my purpose here. Not just a generic purpose of "save souls for Jesus" that everyone else says and thinks they are doing that. What do I want? A new movement of people learning this life, the teachings of it, from life, not from books and cirriculum.When God told Adam and Eve to fill the

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109776562668006472005-01-25T08:13:00.000-07:002005-03-02T08:16:36.383-07:00

Feed my sheep. IN order to feed His sheep one must walk unified with Jesus so he can share with us those who are His. Why was it that Peter went and remained praying with them in the upper room when the Holy Spiring came on them with power. Whether one is a sheep or not is not our concern. The lost one's Jesus goes and gets (Luke 15) because He is The Good Shepherd (John 10). In order to remain a

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1111432554630014312004-12-31T23:59:00.000-07:002005-03-21T12:34:28.706-07:00

What is it that people get from the “masses?” Why is it that we actually trust many people’s judgments whom I do not know, nor do I approve of the motivations of their actions (their hearts) just because there are a lot of people who agree on one particular way to go or option?Do we truly think that highly of our own ability to think about and understand a world that we ourselves cannot even

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1111432319124303562004-12-31T23:58:00.000-07:002005-03-21T12:11:59.126-07:00

What is the world? People who interact with one another, deciding what is “worth” trading their money for? The majority of life and things of life have little to do with others more than each one’s own desires. There is always a motivation behind every action. A source from which our actions, attitudes and beings come. Our heart or true nature. This does not mean that what we “do” is in

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1111431833469006172004-12-31T23:57:00.000-07:002005-03-21T12:03:53.473-07:00

What if we freed people from the guilt ridden teaching of the necessity of “Christian” things (as if it is a need in order for life to continue) and allowed them a place in which a man could find peace and quiet to discover God. Not what one thinks about God, but who God truly is as His is Being? What if a man was able to do that? He would discover God, God’s love and the mystery that we may

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1111431544756520682004-12-31T23:56:00.000-07:002005-03-21T11:59:04.756-07:00

The role of God in us is more Him than us. It is not our “job” to love, so that we will keep His commands but Him in us simply producing His will. It is the Father in us. The spiritual life is not one that is attained or manifested by my human effort. It truly is something given to me as I put down my take and false self always trying to prove my existence in this false world. The spiritual

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1111430803478633982004-12-31T23:55:00.001-07:002005-03-21T11:56:35.490-07:00

It has been a while since I wrote anything down. Last night I watched the movie “Hidalgo” about a man and his horse. Both of them were wild and untamed. The part that is bothering me is the brutality of people toward things which are wild and live in the world for whom and what they are. It amazes me that allowing something to BE is such a dangerous thing. Why do we actually believe God’s desire

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1111431378660302252004-12-31T23:55:00.000-07:002005-03-21T11:56:18.663-07:00

Is it any wonder that our church services truly offer us no life and rejuvenation that lasts and restores our souls, producing irreversible change. In almost ever aspect of life (modern civilization) we substitute the artificial and man made for the real and magnificent creations of God. Walking through Flatirons Mall in Broomfield, CO, I see Christmas Lights, and realize, we substitute them

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109808393304979962004-12-31T23:48:00.000-07:002005-03-02T17:06:33.306-07:00

A person "being" is far more important than what he says or what he does.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109808328711096962004-12-31T23:47:00.000-07:002005-03-02T17:05:28.713-07:00

The only way to be a loving father is to learn who "I am." My true self. In doing that myself, I become and simply am an environment in which others can do the same. In John 4, the woman was lving the way everyone else prescribed for her. When jesus brings her old life up it is not just a new way of life, he is inviting her into the ultimate reality, her true self. A chance to live this life

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109808013898204142004-12-31T23:46:00.000-07:002005-03-02T17:00:13.900-07:00

What was Jesus doing when He set down His hammer and moved into the baptism and desert? He was not "becoming" Jesus because that would place "who He is" with what he did. He knew the real Jesus from around the time he was 12.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109807930346374742004-12-31T23:45:00.000-07:002005-03-02T16:58:50.346-07:00

I try to "find myself," the real me, and when I feel as if I have found it, I try to show it off, then realizing the very need to show it proves it is just another mask used to keep the terrified man down and hidden fromt he rest of the world, so I do not get "found out."I did this on the RH forums, showing them I know what I am doing, basically a "I haev got it figured out" mentality, despite

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109807550549258122004-12-31T23:44:00.000-07:002005-03-02T16:55:35.233-07:00

Quote from Thomas Merton - "Seeds" pg. 11There is and can be no special technique for discovering and awakening one's inner self, because the inner self is first of all spontaneity, that is nothing if not free."

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109807288644967812004-12-31T23:43:00.000-07:002005-03-02T16:55:51.243-07:00

A yoga class is only one means for someone to "experience themselves deeper." So it is not trying to conform people, it is trying to give them release from the physical [illusion], to experience the spiritual.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109807447697051522004-12-31T23:42:00.001-07:002005-03-02T16:50:47.696-07:00

I keep trying to prove myself on the Ransomed Heart website [forum]. I keep trying to make myself seem like I have all the answers because of the new things that I am learning.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109807373348735692004-12-31T23:42:00.000-07:002005-03-02T16:49:33.350-07:00

I feel I am trying to "understand" or comprehend the spiritual through the physical. Understanding documentation, word for word analysis of the bible.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109807201148765052004-12-31T23:41:00.000-07:002005-03-02T16:46:41.150-07:00

Teaching is the conveying of information if it does not include the invitation of daily life being lived (shared) with one another. Ex. Jesus form of teaching with the disciples. Beatitudes [Jesus addressing and speaking to the people standing in front of Him, the ones in front of Him that were "poor in spirit" or who were "mourning."]

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109807083830522172004-12-31T23:40:00.000-07:002005-03-02T16:44:59.100-07:00

Jesus statement in John 4 "Spirit and Truth" and reference to the mountain. Seek the life opened in these.Seek first the kingdom ... Jesus Kingdom is spiritual, we try to make "spiritual" physical and then pursue knowledge. Thus basing our "Spiritual experience" on how much we know. Knowledge, as in "information," is a carnal thing. Jesus did not invite the disciples to follow Him away fromt he

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109806805998658002004-12-31T16:38:00.000-07:002005-03-02T16:40:06.000-07:00

it may not be that my fast is about food but over productivity. Where I depend so much on this to justify myself and us being here [Boulder], but life proceeds from every word of God, not my activity in the world."I have been given nothing, God makes men what they are." - Braveheart

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109109379429505202004-12-31T14:55:00.000-07:002005-02-22T14:56:19.430-07:00

Life comes by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. This is what Jesus meant by what He said about "prayer and fasting." Not a ritual of both, but a learned understanding by the experience of living "man's life proceeding from every word of God."

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109109237133234412004-12-31T14:50:00.000-07:002005-02-22T14:54:44.400-07:00

God leads me into a wilderness of loneliness and isolation. He led Israel to the wilderness to show them who they were and who He Is. Made sure they knew their dependence upon Him by not allowing them to have a surplus of anything, and taught them, regardless of what you have you live by My word, with little or with much, with little friends or accomplises here or with a lot I must live by God's

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109109038419573042004-12-31T14:47:00.000-07:002005-02-22T14:50:38.420-07:00

That is why He did not instruct them to fast until He, the bridegroom, was actually gone. Fasting is a desire to remove our prespective from the physical world to the spiritual, many use it in prayer to try to get God to do something. Satan tried to get Jesus to make something happen in the physical by using his powers for Himself. He also began by attacking his identity (if you are the Son of

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109108747689263322004-12-31T14:44:00.000-07:002005-02-22T14:45:47.690-07:00

When Jesus said, "Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God." He was not just 'quoting' a 'memorized' part of his bible. He was right in the middle of living that out by going without food or just about anything physical for 40 days.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109107970283625992004-12-31T14:32:00.000-07:002005-02-22T14:36:32.403-07:00

"Let Go"I keep hearing this in my heart and my head. My natural reaction is, "of what?" In other words I am saying, 'give me specifics so I can hold on to other things.' Let go of the physical completely, meet me in the spiritual world.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109107957664580192004-12-31T14:30:00.000-07:002005-02-22T14:32:37.666-07:00

Abba. My heart is heavy within me. I am continually looking into the feeling that I have to "have something going on." Feeling I need to be doing "this" or "that" so that I will have something to write back to them. As if their money is their approval. My heart is so bound within me. Lord and my God. Set my heart free so that I can live in your commands. Please My God, I beg You. For me

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109107818004467612004-12-31T14:29:00.000-07:002005-02-22T14:30:18.006-07:00

I must live each day before and with an audience of One.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109107781582871912004-12-31T14:28:00.000-07:002005-02-22T14:29:41.583-07:00

At the transfiguration, was that You showing them the Spiritual World?

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109107674930160222004-11-30T14:26:00.000-07:002005-02-22T14:27:54.933-07:00

"What if there is another world out there and all you have to do is believe?" - Polar ExpressI want it all or none of it. I am tired of half way. I am tired of trying to get by and then make sure I do my duty with everything else. I want to lead people out of the wilderness and into your kingdom.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109107579629832382004-11-30T14:24:00.000-07:002005-02-22T14:26:19.630-07:00

It has been really hard to keep hope alive these last couple of days. Knowing you are obeying God, but doing so and feeling so alone. It is just so hard. You know Jesus did not lie about this, He said it was hard, and few find it. I want life though. I will sacrifice everything just to lay this all on the line. We are out here our very lives on the line, our hearts hanging onto our Father,

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109107458524393302004-11-30T14:14:00.000-07:002005-02-22T14:24:18.526-07:00

Who you are is never defined or discovered by "actions" or "doing". Actios are only influenced by the heart from which they flow. Though one's heart may be good (or made new) there may still be broken places in one's heart and life that has not been restored where many of those actions have not come from. One may feel sin defines him as a "sinner." However, once again something so valuable

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109106447869390812004-11-30T14:05:00.000-07:002005-02-22T14:07:27.873-07:00

Jesus, I have no idea whatyou are doing but I am with you. You can have me day by day. To do whatever you desire. I saw the movie "Ray" to night and saw how you brought healing to his [Ray Charles] life. How you freed him by healing his deep heart.Father there are many today who are wounded. Bleeding and dying. That is why you went to them. You went to heal the deep broken heart.I am never

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109106292009870492004-11-30T14:04:00.000-07:002005-02-22T14:04:52.010-07:00

Is there a part of Adam and Eve's life that you long for?

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109106253803695112004-11-30T14:00:00.000-07:002005-02-22T14:04:13.806-07:00

Through much of my seeking what we are here in Boulder for, I often have fallen into the idea of trying to define myself by what we "are not." it is obvious and becoming more aparent that we are not defined by any religious movement or idea. Our passion is the restoration of people. Walking with God in His onward adventure in "binding up brokenhearted" people. We do not do things based on

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109105877323989082004-11-30T13:57:00.000-07:002005-02-22T13:57:57.326-07:00

Eating of the tree of life, is walking with God.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109105815161288082004-11-30T13:55:00.000-07:002005-02-22T13:56:55.163-07:00

The original sin is eating of the tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Trying to figure out what is right and wrong is seeking the same tree. Know God. That is what Adam had every day of his life, but choose to seek after more "knowledge" about God and lost all that he had. (added 2.22.05)

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109105648059039392004-11-30T13:53:00.000-07:002005-02-22T13:54:08.060-07:00

There is nothing in the wilderness but God Himself.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109102838721577812004-11-30T13:04:00.000-07:002005-02-22T13:53:12.396-07:00

It truly is a time of loneliness and a vast wilderness. But I have never been left. I am not alone. My Father's heart and love for these people, not just Boulder, but all people.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109102621783183302004-11-30T12:51:00.000-07:002005-02-22T13:03:41.786-07:00

What is it that I dream? To lead people into the Kingdom of God. That it actually exists now. So much this happened since I heard those words above. I sit at my desk, show is falling right outside my window and I long for my Father. To know him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His suffering.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109101605684351292004-11-30T12:43:00.000-07:002005-02-22T12:46:45.686-07:00

I had been asking God, why is all this taking so long? Why is nothing happening? 11.22.04I was watching the FSU/Florida football game and he called to me to be still and listen. So I figured I would pick up the book I had been reading and "hear God." Everything in on the page did not register, so I finally said, "Ok Father, I will listen." God said, "Continue to wait, and I will give you

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109101410723778992004-11-30T12:40:00.000-07:002005-02-22T12:43:30.723-07:00

There is a place in my heart that needs healing. A place where what people think of us will cease. To echo in my heart. A place where enduring peace and knowledge that my Father, my King are in control and have me in your right hand. God, Yahweh you have to come through. I cant come through for these people, but you can. I do not know what you have in mind for a ministry but you do. You

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109101195790540352004-11-30T12:37:00.000-07:002005-02-22T12:39:55.793-07:00

What is it that causes me to get upset when someone judges me and makes me want to "show them"? Like Cara. Why do I hate Christians (religious ones) sometimes and even feel as if "I have got it and they don't". That is not love. That is not coming from a whole heart. God heal those places in me.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109100312522676262004-11-30T12:23:00.000-07:002005-02-22T12:25:12.523-07:00

So much of my life has changed. I see the world so different. It is a God bathed world. Totally consumed with Him. God is actually showing me something that I am excited to show people. I was walking outside marveled by the snow. As I walk the snow twinkled when I stopped walking just little flakes would shine out. God thank you for putting up with my temper tantrums.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109100195226363822004-11-30T12:22:00.000-07:002005-02-22T12:23:15.226-07:00

Deep down Father, I desire to have a network of people who fight for people's freedom. To keep them from being made by the church. What would you have me do?

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109099432805813092004-11-30T12:06:00.000-07:002005-02-22T12:10:32.806-07:00

Jesus I want to teach like you did. I desire to make a lasting impact on my hearers lives beyond books, tapes, notes and seminars. More than information. To know how to speak with words and actions, with stories and parables. To have the power you did to show truth and how to live it.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109099030382338282004-11-30T12:00:00.000-07:002005-02-22T12:03:50.383-07:00

It is hard right now cuz we had a Dr's Appt today and it will cost around $152 and I am simply concerned with how we will pay that. But as I write I remember the $700 and the $165 that you have already provided. Speak to me Jesus.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109098446216943162004-11-30T11:52:00.000-07:002005-02-22T11:54:06.216-07:00

Are you using the Christian religion of today to sow seeds in people's lives that YOU will rescue? Like me. So much scripture is coming to life and I cannot explain it other than Jesus is meeting me on my own personal "Emmaus" road. A road Jesus wants to have with everyone.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109098310930592322004-11-30T11:48:00.000-07:002005-02-22T11:51:50.933-07:00

The reason we do not desire Jesus over other idols is because we do not see Jesus for who He truly is. (Extra added 2.21.05) The man He is and was regardless of our interpretations of Him. When we try to "grasp" onto Him with our own abilities to learn and study, we have just lowered Him from who He was. It is the same with you and me. I can learn more about you, when you share yourself

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109098090135319162004-11-30T11:46:00.000-07:002005-02-22T11:48:10.156-07:00

He took me deeper. He is revealing more of Himself. he is revealing His brilliance. He is the smartest man who ever lived. Now, what does it mean when he speaks to me? The most brilliant man who ever lived speaks with me.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109098008799344432004-11-30T11:45:00.000-07:002005-02-22T11:46:48.800-07:00

What was it in Jesus life that set people free? I am the truth and the truth will make you free is His life. Offering freedom. Everyday life with Jesus was freedom and life. He did not allow others to tell Him what His Life was. It was in His Father.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109097696206802762004-11-30T11:39:00.000-07:002005-02-22T11:41:36.210-07:00

Our Basis of workGod is either active in this world or He is notOur role and outlook on "work" and what we are to "do" in the Kingdom comes solely from thatEverything revolves around who God is. Active King.If He is a King who is active in bringing to salvation those who are to be saved, then our job is not to strive to save people. Our job is to walk with our King and obey Him. Not focus on

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109097538891218802004-11-30T11:37:00.000-07:002005-02-22T11:42:10.406-07:00

This is why Jesus tells his disciples "I did not come to bring peace but a sword" and "god and sell.. and buy swords." He was teaching them to gear up, we are going to invade.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109097468363642592004-11-30T11:36:00.000-07:002005-02-22T11:37:48.363-07:00

So much of this time is fighting doubts. However now it is not so much doubt as possible fear. Knowing what awaits me and the opposition that iwll come from the religious groups. My own family and friends. You said not to worry about anything or seek monetary things because you know I need them already.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109097355977421572004-11-30T11:34:00.000-07:002005-02-22T11:35:55.976-07:00

God you are inviting me into dangerous ground. Something that many people will hate me, call me all kinds of things. so this is what it means to pick up my cross daily. You are my God. You are my Father. God we have this medical stuff with Amanda and I am simply asking not so much for "your will" as simply what do I do?

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109097185891232052004-11-30T11:28:00.000-07:002005-02-22T11:33:20.336-07:00

No matter what area of life with God you look the core of that is what you know and believe about what the gospel actually is. If the gosple is the fact that the Kingdom of God is how available to man to enter into, everything changes. If the Kingdom of God is a future kingdom and we do not become literally part of it now (living in it within the present moment), but at a future event that leaves

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109096895338594672004-11-30T11:26:00.000-07:002005-02-22T11:28:15.340-07:00

The early church was not led by men, it was led by the head, Jesus Christ. The death of Ananias and Sapphira, no apostle killed them with any power of their own. They simply knew what the Father was going to do. They were witnesses still under the power and authority of God.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109096781302770572004-11-30T11:22:00.000-07:002005-02-22T11:26:21.303-07:00

If we are responsibile to save, then we have built for ourselves a kingdom we rule. When we decide who is in or out, we give ourselves the power that only a King has. We are heirs with Christ. But we can only repeat what we hear from God. You know the world makes a great case when we argue fromt he physical world. The death of Christ was not simply a sacrifice for sin, but it killed Christ's

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109096461515814892004-11-30T11:16:00.000-07:002005-02-22T11:22:18.310-07:00

The first group was told to go and wait until they received the Spirit of Power and then they would become His witnesses. I must wait until the Spirit of Power comes upon me. WitnessesTestify of what they have seen, heard, touched, experiencedspeak of things experienced not something they have heard from someone elseShares their life and their experience with someone elseWe are to testify, or be

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109096162205122302004-11-30T11:14:00.000-07:002005-02-22T11:22:08.680-07:00

Knowing and walking with God is in itself part of sitting still in my home office. God can raise up his choosen with me here. Maybe He is doing it to get people to calm down about things now. To give people a break from the strenuous lives of saving the planet.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109096077357051672004-11-30T11:13:00.000-07:002005-02-22T11:33:27.980-07:00

Jesus life was not valuable by what He did. Jesus life simply was valuable because of who He was. Many people have debated over who Jesus was. These same men and women have never truly seen themselves for who they are.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109095982588817722004-11-30T11:09:00.000-07:002005-02-22T11:42:48.606-07:00

I have lost the sense and understanding of being. It is even more possible that I have in fact never actually known what it is. What is it that makes a tree a tree? The fact that it produces O2, or fruit, or nuts, or some other form of seed? A tree is a tree regardless of its production. Why did Jesus curse the fig tree without figs? Or is this production just part of its being? If God places

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109095782185053582004-11-30T11:08:00.000-07:002005-02-22T11:43:43.076-07:00

Sometimes it is good to sit on my hands and let You love me. Take me to the deeper parts of you Father.

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109094275583683772004-11-22T10:44:00.000-07:002005-02-22T11:44:56.513-07:00

Walking with God has never been something that was "made available through Christ." What Christ did was set us free from the law of sin and death and offered us life with God, no strings attached. Does this abolish the wisdom found in the law? No. Jesus fulfilled the requirements of the Law for all of us, not just for himself. Men have always been able to walk with God. The Israelites simply

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109094519783196422004-11-12T10:47:00.000-07:002005-02-22T10:48:39.786-07:00

This page of comment is simply a place where you can read about our journey. It is an online journal that we will open up to you so that you can see how life is going. Our heart is not to hurt anyone, so each post may simply be a part of the journey one is taking on their walk with the Lord. It is not to show off our superiority because nothing we have is not available to you. Open your hearts,

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109094329806577482004-11-12T10:45:00.000-07:002005-02-22T10:45:29.810-07:00

For much of my life I have always viewed life as a very lonely journey. That I could truly only count on myself, because of the experiences I have had in life. That my life was simply just a time of striving for the passions of my heart and life. God has had quite a different outlook on me however. What I did not ever realize, after 24 years of attending churches, youth groups, and 4 years of

Ryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10982709.post-1109095423867867492004-10-31T11:03:00.000-07:002005-02-22T11:34:02.716-07:00

Ryannoreply@blogger.com